Silver-Shells

Circumference Factor: Are you overpaid? You must be overweight

2010-01-06T10:26:00.000-08:00

“Techies and Nerdies usually have a great tendency of growing their tummies much faster and quicker. So, for God sake please get out and do some more work, I mean physical “no offense”, participate in one or two sports at least twice a week most probably on a weekend. Code isn’t going to help you in your sixties.” Mudasser Ijaz, a Software Engineer.

CodeWeek police just happened to be very near to catch the crime scene and decided to report it instantly. Many have completely denied and refused to comment. Others refused to get their pictures taken. Because these Software Engineers were hiding either their salary or circumference of their waist. As said above by a Software Engineer himself, the two things complimented each other and one of them determined the size of the other.

This happens in almost all the Software Houses due to the continuous late sittings through which the Software Engineers have to suffer. Whenever someone shows up with a bottle of Pepsi or a Coke, or has some fried samoosas, grilled kebabs or roasted Chicken, law and order becomes a vague term and every Software Professional jumps ahead, leaving his seat behind with only one slogan on his mind i.e. food, food and food. That is the only time when physical activity/movement actually takes place.

The speed at which a Software Professional, with a fat salary, gulps down a magnanimous chunk of food is directly proportional to the speed of light and inversely proportional to the movement displayed by these giants (Software Engineer). If you are a software engineer and still in in doubt, then try and test it on yourself. By the way you don't have to test it, all you have to do is just ignore your work and concentrate on your self, you will know exactly what I mean.

If you cannot then CodeWeek advises you to wear your Body Armour, as we are all set to investigate and prove our point. Here, an attempt was made to seal all our investigative abilities by some well known Software Professionals who knew that what we were an\bout to prove had been kept hidden from quite sometime now. As they themselves had a remarkable ability of hiding their Directly Proportional Secret in a professional manner.

We have also acquired this professional ability and know the perfect usage of sirens and alarms, in order to clear the traffic out. But as soon as we outlined an excellent strategy, suspects escaped to their hidden caves. Our weapon was our pen and paper which we used as a direct hit and Mubasshir Mian's WESI Calculator. So, we started by drawing margins and added 'age' in one column, 'waist' in the other and lastly 'salary' in the third, and sent this piece of paper to various departments of various Software Houses, and waited for the results. We were tricked.

Some hid the paper, some burnt it and others said they never received it. But our investigative police found what they wanted and Group 1 was named as
Group Of Lies
This group had about eleven members in it. They made an unsuccessful attempt in appearing unimportant and filled the form in such a manner that the average waist size was inversely proportional to salary. But Mubasshir Mian, our lead discovered a new calculator which was mentioned above, Known as WESI, Waist Equals Salary Index. Mubasshir Mian is a Software Professional, so he knew exactly how a Software Engineer can play tricks at such an occasion. And he taught us how to fight with such tricks. This calculator showed us how the waist size is always directly proportional to size of Software Engineer's salary. Thus, WESI also turned out to be a lie detector.
He told us that if your attack was going really well, then beware it's an ambush. How can eleven people have the same waist size and same salary with only slight variation. Thus our research was not restricted to these eleven Software Professionals. More data was collected, which eventually brought us to the point where the board of inquiry could prove anything and everything.
Then we formed Group 2, which was named as the
Group Of Semi-Lies
As the name reads, the data collected from this particular group was true to some extent and false at the same time. All the group members filled the form exactly the same way as was done by the previous group. But a couple of them, in his subconsciousness wrote the right waist size and when calculated in our WESI calculator, the figures proved that the size of waist was directly proportional to the salary they earned. So Mubasshir Mian's WESI calculator proved the main point of proportionality along with all the technical details.
Thus this conclusion gave rise to Group 3. This group blamed us for misleading the readers, and named themselves as, 'Truth is Out There', and stood against our every result.
Group 3 'Truth is Out There.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. While taking notes of every individuals salary and his waistline we were told that the data collected was illegal and the records were not authentic. Some were even offended, for which we apologize, but we know for sure that that our results given by our WESI calculator were hundred percent correct. At this opposition our team and our supporters argued that collecting this type of information, which allowed Software Professionals to laugh is not waisting time, but this gathering of information is directly proportional to distributing intelligence which we believe is badly needed.

Conclusion
Every Thorough Investigation Leads To Confusion
And as more Techies and Nerdies unfolded their salaries and waist size, we discovered how correct we were. But our Software Professionals (intentionally and consciously) pretended to be CONFUSED. Since CodeWeek has already made its point thus avoiding this unwanted confusion, CodeWeek would be rather happy in closing this saga of adventures, opposition and self developed confusion over here by saying that “in the life of a Software Professional, as the years move forward, salary moves forward and waist moves in the exact same direction.”
Well we were not able to catch Mudasser Ijaz, but we definitely were able to prove what he claimed. We are proud to tell that the above statement was made by a Software Professional who is very much aware of the on-going of the Software World where fried samoosas, grilled kebabs and roasted Chicken, are the main reason why we lack law and order.

Mr. Ten Percent Fraud

2010-01-06T10:20:00.000-08:00

Each and every one of you is aware of the term Mr. Ten Percent, but have you ever come across the term catastrophic success. But no one actually knows where exactly these two terms came from. So CodeWeek decided to research and find out about their origin. Let us formulate a short definition for you;

Mr. Ten Percent is a dealer or an agent who takes of 10% of your earnings as payment for his services. This act takes place without your knowledge. And after sometime it leaves you bankrupt and your PC corrupted.
Mr. Ten Percent created many viruses.

In reality he is the scam plotter. He produces viruses, which have complex codes. These are used only while attacking. Like a virus spreads very quickly inside the human body, this mega virus corrupts everything that comes in its way. Mr. Ten Percent’s virus has spread far and wide crushing many PCs in its way. We decided to bring it right in front of our reader’s attention before it is too late and before their PCs are completely mortified.

It is actually amazing to observe the number of people who are totally corrupted by these viruses. It is amazing to observe how Mr. Ten Percent is scamming against every PC behind the games thus providing a path to the virus.

Each time a new game is introduced, a plan also comes in the forefront. All the users helped Mr. Ten Percent plan and become what he is today. Thesecollective Ideas basically result from the Initial enthusiasm which actually brought
everyone together. And that is when the actual virus was created which slowly and gradually spread across the boundaries of our country. The virus turned from bad to worse and greatly affected performance of the PC. It was not as bad as people had said but was much, much worse.

With the initial enthusiasm of creation, Inevitable Problems emerge
Mr. Ten Percent has been around us for more than two decades and decides to stay with us as long as it wishes. By catastrophic success we meant, success for Mr. Ten Percent and catastrophe for the rest. But this point where there has to be someone to be blamed for the catastrophe. So, Mr. Ten percent jumps into the crowd and searches for a true candidate.

Search for Someone to Blame
We wonder how someone falls a prey to his trap very easily. Then starts a phase when there is a constant search for someone to blame for all the damages that occurred. And this search is always successful. They find smaller virus, blame it for corrupting the data and here we go. Slowly and gradually everyone and everything became normal again, but in reality the problems and situation ended up deteriorating.
Punishment of those who are innocent
Finally the search halts and those who are innocent are blamed for everything that has gone wrong inside the PC. Every corrupted folder and file is completely his responsibility of the innocent who has been targeted by and Mr. Ten percent goes off to his home happily in order to

Celebrate, Praise and reward the non-participants
Programmers are decoded. That is when we realize that the road towards success has already been occupied, rather blocked by Mr. Ten Percent, and this road was in reality became the road towards a catastrophic success.

And that is when we discover a catastrophic success in its cruelest form, ending the PC, eradicating it and bringing everyone to the point of insanity. Where Ten percent upgrades itself towards hundred percent, while the rest of the world faces demise.

Was Einstein a Woman?

2010-01-06T10:15:00.000-08:00

Cliché: there is always a successful woman behind every successful man. But have you ever given it a thought that this successful man might be a woman herself?

Was Einstein a Woman?

Since we have been able to gather attention of many out there so here it goes. The question raised above is not just a question; it is the question of the week. It is a Hypothetical the reason and idea behind which is just about to be revealed.
This question has been raised with a very strong base. It can be marked as an example from literary history of Great Britain.

Einstein Set to Work

Not just any developing nation but The Great Britain. George Eliot is a very famous novelist. He completed almost seven novels in his lifetime, followed by poetry and translations. One of the leading writer of Victorian Era, made his mark through his keen insight in realism and psychology.

It is believed that women are mostly interested in psychological insights as they are sensitive and emotional. This became true when we found out; rather the world realized the truth that George Eliot was actually Mary Ann. A woman, disguised under the pen name, George Eliot.

Disguised in such a way resulted from the fact that women in 19^th century Europe were not allowed to work. They had no rights whatsoever. Those who wrote were not allowed to publish their written material.
Thus Mary Anne chose a pen name hiding herself under the blotches of ink, and wrote as a male writer for many years until her truth was discovered. When and how was it discovered is not the question. The question here arises then is
“Was Einstein also a Woman?”

In Search of acceptance or rejection of our own hypothetical question we took many examples from history again. We took the example of various scientists, mathematicians etc. as were mentioned earlier, but none of them has ever turned out to be a woman. Well we doubt it completely, how can so many men be successful without there being a single woman among them.

Aristotle, Charles Darwin, Leonardo Da Vinci, Benjamin Franklin, Galileo Galilei and Isaac Newton. All great scientists, great minds who left behind extra ordinary work behind them, which set the stage for generations to come. All were men. Their names are still known and repeated in many classrooms around the world.

If a famous male writer can turn out to be a female, then this can be true for many other professionals as well. The time we are referring to might have hidden many other secrets as well. This is where our real search begins.

Well this is a centuries old tale, repeated again and again. One thing is for sure, women these days do not need to disguise themselves behind any male member of society. They have their own identity and their own individual existence. Those who have passed the test of societal restrictions and succeeded professionally stand out in the crowd. They need no introduction and they need no explanation.

A few weeks back we posted an article named as, unsuccessful women in software industry of Pakistan? Which caught a lot of attention among our subscribers and readers, we highly appreciate everyone’s participation as it has helped us in improving in many ways.
So if one day you discover that Einstein was a woman, will you be shocked?
don’t be shocked, it was only a hypothetical statement and has nothing to do with reality.

As said earlier, those who are successful in this industry do not need any form of introduction. They are known and recognized by many. Women in Pakistan do not need any platform in order to showcase their talent.